Humor

You’ve got a friend…hiding in your coat!

I saw a woman smuggle her dog into the movies the other day. she placed the chihuahua in her over-sized coat and zipped it up.  She walked inside with no problem at all, and I worried a tiny bit for the dog.  How did he stay in there? He must have been holding on for dear life, as I noticed her hands stayed to her sides and never once did she hold on to him.  The soundtrack to Mission Impossible played in my head as I watched her buy some popcorn.

I have friends and family who call their dogs their children. They love and protect them, give them food and shelter, and are all around better parents than my husband and I are with our human kids. It’s kind of odd, I guess, but it’s one of those things you get used to. But still…there’s something bizarre about a woman bringing her dog to a cinema. Does the dog really enjoy movies that much?  She sat in the second to last row, unzipped the smiling chihuahua head and situated the popcorn so they both could easily reach it. During the previews, he looked up at her and laughed, “I can not wait till that new Zack Galifianakis movie comes out!”

When the movie was over, she carefully zipped him back up and headed on her merry way. I wonder if she had an excuse if she got caught? “He’s a seeing-eye dog.” Sure, I’d buy that. When he moves his head left or right, he’s telling her to walk left or right. And when he wags his tail he’s saying, “Walk a little faster please.” And when he pees on her lap it means, “Put me down before I shit on you, too!”

I don’t know why the woman did it, though. If it was for companionship, that makes me sad and I pray she finds a human friend soon. Maybe she’s an adrenaline junky and just wanted to see if she could get away with it. Perhaps she was told before that she’d have to buy a separate ticket for the dog and wanted to save some cash. If that’s the reason, I’m gonna try it with my kid.

“Excuse me Miss…did your stomach just call you Mommy?”

“What? No. This? Oh, this is my seeing-eye-baby.”

Hmmm, I can’t see that ending well.

Maybe I’ll just stuff him in my purse like my cousin does with her dog!

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2 thoughts on “You’ve got a friend…hiding in your coat!

  1. Wow. I like my dogs, but like children, I go to the movies to LEAVE THEM BEHIND. If I wanted to deal with my dog the whole evening I would have stayed home and just rented a movie.

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