I’ve been nominated for an award! I lost…but still…
The award was for “Worst Mother EVER!”. I was nominated when my son screamed those words at me with such anger and conviction that the “Mommy Committee” in my head had no choice but to put me on the ballot.
I’m not gonna lie. I felt pretty low, because no matter how awesome I know I am ( 😉 ), I know I fail…a lot. Sometimes I’m too busy to play Candy Land. Other times I’m too tired to build a house out of Legos. And there are those times when I just don’t want to wrestle! I’d rather read, or watch t.v., or talk on the phone, or work on my blog, or a hundred thousand other things. I don’t think about it when I say no, but at the end of the day, the guilt always shows up with crossed arms, shaking her head, “Candy Land takes what? 20 minutes? If that. Bad Mommy!”
I know, I know. Being a mom is tough. If that’s the one thing that gets drilled into our heads at the first sign of baby-bump, it’s “being a mom is tough”. Being the bad guy, even though you know it’s for their own good, sucks balls. Teaching right from wrong sounds like a simple concept, but it’s not that easy to teach. Feeling their pain and wishing you could absorb it, saying no to what you want and yes to them, not being able to crunch out the post-baby gut! It all sucks, sucks, sucks! But being called the worst mom ever, even though you’re trying your best, that’s the ultimate of sucky things. That’s like…the suck trump.
So I did a little research to see who my fellow nominees could be. Would anyone famous be on the list? Would Kate Holmes be listed for making her daughter, Suri, wear little heels? How about that bitch from the show Toddlers and Tiaras who forced her sobbing, terrified toddler to get her eyebrows waxed again. (the first time they were waxed, skin was actually pulled up. Gee, I wonder why the little girl is screaming?) But sadly, this wasn’t the worst of them. I really wish they had been.
Second runner-up was Melissa Willis who dumped her 18-month old child off with a stranger while she ‘went to get the car fixed.’ Luckily, the stranger was a decent human being and called children services after Melissa hadn’t returned after several hours (did I mention, she left no bottles or sippy cups or diapers or anything with this stranger???). It was 2 days before she came to get her daughter, who was already in the custody of children’s services. She was high as a kite, and admitted she dropped the baby off so she wouldn’t have to watch over her while she and her friends got high. That’s gonna be a tough one to beat. Idiot.
There’s Sergine Le Moaligou, the first runner-up, from France. She and her husband, Joel, decided to live a vegan life and raise their child that way too. (That in itself should get the nomination!). Only problem was, instead of actual food, they only fed the child breast milk. When their little girl was 11 months old, she weighed 12 lbs. She passed away not only from starvation, but also from bronchitis, which her mother decided to ignore. Hope this woman’s punishment is getting her tubes not just tied, but ripped out and burned in a cauldron!
The winner, though, was 21-year-old Caira Ferguson who, for unexplained reasons, decided to blindfold, gag and bound her 2-year-old daughter with duct tape. And then, I don’t know why…perhaps for her scrapbook, took pictures of them together. (The pictures can be found online, but they were too horrific for me to post here. I wish I had never seen them. ) Perhaps this piece of shit should be burned at the stake?
It’s amazing how many horror stories I came across while researching for this blog. Mothers who chose their ‘man’ over their child when the child confesses to being molested. Mothers who teach the child to smoke pot. Mothers that pimp them out for drug money. It’s disgusting and pisses me off that they are even noted as being ‘Mothers’. They should be called incubators.
So what did I do to get my nomination? Initially, it’s because I made him clean his room. But, actually, it was because I let self-doubt and frustration jump all over my brain! I told myself, maybe I was a bad mom because I don’t always have the time…or the patience…or the right answers. But working on this blog, I decided to take myself off the ballot because what I do have is the love. I’m a good mom. Tommy might not know it yet, but one day he will. And until that day comes, I’m gonna keep making him clean his room.