Humor · kids · Motherhood · SAHM

I Hate Thunderstorms

4 a.m. The thunderstorms begins. My son runs into my room with his blanket wrapped around his scared little body. At first, he just lies on the floor…I have a strict ‘no sleeping with Mom and Dad’ policy, but as the thunder gets louder and scarier, he sneaks in between his father and I, and we’re too tired to care.

4:16 a.m. It’s become incredibly hard to sleep. I’m clinging to the side of my bed because I know I’m just one more kick in the back away from falling out of my bed.  I’ve already surrendered half my pillow and most my blanket. I will not give up my spot on the bed!

4:19 a.m. I am back under the comforter warm and toasty, but not in the best position. After being knocked to the floor, I had to shimmy my way in at the foot of the bed. Steven had to curl into the fetal position and since Tommy’s legs don’t reach the end of the bed, I think we have a winner. The dog however is not happy about this, as I’ve stolen HIS spot and he farts in my face before making his way onto the floor.

5:10 a.m. I think I fell asleep, but it really doesn’t feel like it when Steven’s alarm goes off. I’m patiently waiting for him to get up and get ready for work so I can slide into his spot on the bed, but he hits the ‘snooze’ button instead. There’s now a cramp in my leg from having it curled up all night and my left arm is tingling. But I dare not move as Tommy is now asleep after an hour of tossing and turning.

5:15 a.m. The alarm goes off, and Steven hits ‘snooze’ again. But this time I speak up. My leg is aching and left arm is numb and I miss having a pillow so I bark, “Shouldn’t you get up for work so you’re not late?” Steven is silent, but begins to get up. I’m warm and comfy in his spot before he’s actually left the bed. The cramp is gone. I can feel my arm. And his pillow is nice and cool on my cheek. It’s heaven!

5:16 a.m. My son wakes back up.  The thunder sounds like a monster even to me and the lightning mixed with his imagination isn’t helping things. He’s whimpering in an almost comical way, and snuggling up to me. I try to reassure him everything is okay, but my ‘loss of sleep’ voice sounds a little harsh. That’s when his father comes back into the room and flips the light on. Tommy and I groan, but then he changes his tone as he jumps up and starts looking out the window at the mud puddles in the back yard. By his reaction you’d think he’d never seen a puddle before. He squeals and jumps and even begins singing about puddles. I put my pillow over my face and pray it ends soon.

6:00 a.m. It’s storming, but Tommy announces it’s light outside and time to get up. Normally 6a.m. would be okay, but since I haven’t gotten any sleep since 3:59 a.m., I think we need to sleep a little longer.  Steven’s left for work and I make Tommy lie down by threatening him, “If you don’t lay down and shut up, I’m gonna make you go back to your own bed!” He’s good, and I doze off.

6:12 a.m. Tommy is most definitley up. Every time it thunders he says, rather loudly, “Oh wow!” or “Holy cow did you hear that?” or “Now THAT is what I call thunderrrrrr!” and I roll over this way and the other way repeating, “Tommy. Hush.”

6:30 a.m. I grab the remote and turn on the  t.v. “Here. Watch this and be quiet.” Thank God for Mickey Mouse Club.

6:34 a.m. “Mom. Mom. Moooooooom.” I open one eye. “I’m starving.”

6:36 a.m. I bring Tommy a cup of milk and a Pop Tart. He has his hands behind his head and sighs, “Oh yeah Mom. There’s nothing like breakfast in bed.”  I sneer and sniff and get back in bed.

6: 44 a.m. The thunder wakes me. I turn and see Tommy has finally fallen asleep. “Oh Thank you Jesus!” I think and hug my blankey.

6:45 a.m. The baby wakes up screaming in her room. I cry a little into my pillow. Life if not fair.


3 thoughts on “I Hate Thunderstorms

  1. I must be the only one who slept through that storm because everyone I have talked to has mentioned it..and for the life of me I had no clue! I NEVER sleep through storms I must have died and than miraculously came back to life… cause I heard nothing until around 7 and that’s only because my dog wouldn’t leave me alone! Too bad they don’t make sound proof houses.. so when it storms you can’t hear the thunder!

    1. They probably do, but only famous rich people have them. I usually sleep easily through storms, but this one was crazy loud. I’m surprised you didn’t hear it. It was non-stop thunder. Very annoying.

      1. Nope didn’t hear a thing slept right through it.. I actually came across some comic cartoons that reminds me of your’ll have to find them for you.

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