Humor · kids · Motherhood · parenting · SAHM

World, Jack Henry. Jack Henry, World.

Nice to meet you!

About 7 weeks ago my water broke in the middle of the night. Ya know how in the movies when a woman’s water breaks, it’s one big splash…usually on another persons shoes…and they’re not sure what just happened? Well, mine was not like that at all! I heard/felt a pop and then Niagra Falls was let loose all over my bed! There was no confusion. I knew exactly what had happened.  I smacked my husband awake, and of course he thought I was joking when I gulped, “Steven, Steven my water just broke!” I guess I shouldn’t have cried wolf so many times before.  But then he came to, called his sister to come watch the kids, got dressed, brushed his teeth, and got all our insurance papers together all while my water was still…breaking! I just stood next to my bed with a towel between my legs thinking mean thoughts about baby movies. They’re all lies I tell you!

A little over 2 hours later, I felt a push, release, and then pure euphoria. My baby was here! He took a moment to look around and then screamed the sweetest damn scream you’ve ever heard. While the doctor sewed me up and the nurse cleaned him off, we looked across the room to size each other up.

“So you’re the one whose made me so miserable the past 8 months. Good thing you’re cute.”

“So you’re the one whose been feeding me spicy foods the last 2 months. What the hell’s wrong with you?”

Definitely love at first sight.

We’ve been home a while now and things are going pretty good…despite the fact that I’m exhausted all day every day even after naps. We’re just now starting to get into a routine. He eats, sleeps, pees and poops. I drink enough caffeine to kill a grown man and steal away moments to talk dirty to my long-lost pillow. “I want you so bad. You just wait till Jack is sleeping through the night. I’m gonna come in here and sleep on you. I’m gonna sleep on you so hard…”

The kids are doing great with him. They fight over who gets to hold the baby, and when he’s fussing they sing their own lullaby to him. “Hush little Jack. Hush little Jack. Hush little Jack. Hush. Hush. Hush.” It’s no Rock a Bye Baby, but not too bad for a 2- and 6-year-old.  My husband’s amazing, too; changing diapers, making bottles, keeping me sane when I think I’m gonna snap! Like I said, Amazing!

Right now, the house is a mess. Laundry is piled up past the machines. Bottles need washed and nipples sterilized. My kids are running around half-naked and covered in God only knows what. And I haven’t seen the dog in like 3 days. But, I’m glad Mr. Jack is sweetly napping in the bassinet  so I could write this. I’ve missed writing!

Now it’s time to get back to mommy business. Thanks for reading!

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2 thoughts on “World, Jack Henry. Jack Henry, World.

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