Humor · Motherhood · parenting · SAHM

Working, WAHM, SAHM, WAAAAAAAH!

summer fun

It was the beginning of Summer break. My neighbor came home from a long hard day of work. She climbed out of the car, wearing uncomfortable black dress pants and carrying a couple of bags of groceries. Her kids bounced out right behind her, screaming and nearly knocking her over.

I watched from our pool, where I’d been for over an hour. My kids were inside napping. I took a long swig of iced tea and waved. “Hey girl!”

Her shoulders hiked up and her head slowly turned my way, “Hey girl” she called back as her sunglasses fell off her nose.

“Nice day, huh?”

“I guess” she grimaced. “K, I’ll talk to ya later.”

I’m fairly certain she mumbled something under her breath, but who could blame her? She was stuck in an office all day dealing with a creepy boss, cranky customers, and nosy coworkers. While I, the master of my domain, already had my grocery shopping done for the week and all my housework done before noon. The rest of the day was spent making memories with my beautiful children. We splashed in the pool, and created crafts out of the pine cones and twigs we found on our nature hike. I made healthy lunches and delicious gourmet dinners. My house was clean, my family happy and my tan…per-fection!

I felt a tiny bit of pity for my good neighbor. Afterall, last year, we shared this life. But she wanted something more, so it was off to the trenches. Poor soul.

Funny thing about Summer though…it lasts about a month too long.

Yesterday, my poor, pitiful neighbor came home after a hard day of work. As she got out of the car she noticed my pool was in a moldy flatten pile of plastic, and the baby was sitting in a puddle next to it, crying.  I was standing barefoot in a separate mud puddle wearing torn boxer shorts and a faded Esprit t-shirt I’ve had since 8th grade. She might not have even noticed this sad sight had I not been flailing my arms and screaming at the two older kids.

“THAT’S IT! ENOUGH! ALL DAY! EVERY DAY! ALL YOU DO IS FIGHT! I DON’T CARE WHO TOUCHES WHO, WHO LOOKS AT WHO WHO WON’T PLAY WITH WHO, WHO IS COPYING WHO! NO MORE! NOT ANOTHER MINUTE! BOTH OF YOU WILL KEEP YOUR MOUTHS SHUT FOR THE REST OF THE SUMMER OR I WILL SUFFOCATE YOU WITH THE LOADS OF ‘DIRTY’ CLOTHES YOU PEOPLE KEEP PILING UP IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM! AND DON’T YOU DARE THINK I’M AN IDIOT! I KNOW YOU’RE PUTTING CLEAN CLOTHES IN THERE! NEITHER ONE OF YOU HAS WORN A SWEATER SINCE FEBRUARY! AND IF ANOTHER ONE ENDS UP IN MY LAUNDRY ROOM AGAIN, YOU WILL WEAR IT FOR THE REST OF THE SUMMER! AND IF THAT DOESN’T TEACH YOU LITTLE…”

“Hey Girl!”

I almost didn’t hear it. My lovely neighbor stood looking professional and put together and…snarky.

“Oh…hey.”

“I can’t believe it’s August! Summer just few by, huh?”

“Yep.” I called back. “Bitch.” I mumbled to myself.

See ladies, the moral of the story is, no matter if you’re working outside the home, a SAHM or a WAHM. As long as there is a Summer vacation…We all lose.

Thanks for reading!

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Working, WAHM, SAHM, WAAAAAAAH!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s