Humor · kids · Motherhood · parenting · Uncategorized

How the Kids Saved Easter

scan0006I almost let the cat out of the bag. After pretty much forgetting this past weekend was “Easter Weekend”, I almost threw in the towel, sat the kids down, and told them the sad sad truth of life.

“There is no Easter Bunny. I don’t even know where the idea of the Easter Bunny even came from. I just know that I don’t feel like running to the store tonight to buy you more crap to stockpile in my house. Your crap is everywhere. So why don’t we spend Easter chucking some of your crap and then maybe I won’t have to tell you the awful horrible truth about Santa Claus when it’s time to start spending our savings on Christmas. K?”

But I didn’t. I trudged through the store and begrudgingly bought them more crap that they’ll just break or leave lying around or will never ever play with anyway. My haul was a bit less extravagant than it usually is simply because I wasn’t in to it this year. Maybe I’m still burnt out on Christmas? Maybe my heart is still frozen from this long crappy winter? But I couldn’t have cared less.

Saturday night, Steven and I stayed up late waiting for the kids to pass-out so we could hunt for the Easter Baskets up in the attic. They were in a box marked “Halloween”, so that was super easy to find. After arguing over whose basket was whose, we filled them with my pathetic lot and shrugged. Usually I like to make a big deal on the coffee table with easter grass and pastel kisses and candy-pooping bunnies encompassing these magnificent baskets of childhood splendor. This night they were lucky I swept the crumbs onto the floor before placing the baskets 1, 2, 3 in a row on the table. Then we went to bed.

The guilt set in early, right after my coffee. I had slept through the older two getting their baskets. I didn’t buy them nice Easter outfits. I thought for sure they’d notice there were no yellow peeps lined up like an adorable chick army. We didn’t take a picture outside all dressed up and ready for church. We didn’t even go to church. I tried to hide behind my giant mug of coffee while I ridiculed myself.

“This might have been Tommy’s last year of believing. And you didn’t even try. You didn’t even care. Laurie and Jack only have a handful of magical years left and you waste them! After this sad display, they’ll probably ALL be questioning the existence of the Easter Bunny! Way to go, you killer of innocence!”

I was very near tears when Tommy snuggled next to me with the journal he got. “This is so cool, Mom. Look what the Easter Bunny brought me. I love it! And look at this!” He practically smacks me in the head with a book light. “How cool is this? Now I can stop borrowing yours when I want to read at night. Plus it’s blue and better than yours. OH! And look how much candy I got!” He went on and on as he tends to do when he’s excited, and my heart just melted.

I watched my other two kiddo’s, and they weren’t disappointed either. Laurie, who loves to color, sat quietly at the kitchen table with her new markers and coloring books. Every 2 seconds she’d lift a page, “Look at this! Do you like my picture?” And Jack, who is pretty easy to please anyways, layed on the floor gnawing on his 5th peanutbutter egg and rolling his new train around green and blue lumps of Easter grass.

My new tears were of joy. And in that moment, I actually thought of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

It came without glitter.

It came without games.

It came without bunnies pooping jelly beans!

And what happened next, well in Ohio they say,

a shameful mothers pride grew three sizes that day!

Not a child was spoiled. Not a one was a grump.

She realized then, “I haven’t screwed them up!”

Alright, my bad rhyming aside, it was a pleasant Easter after all. Maybe somehow I just got lucky, or maybe they were so high on sugar it wouldn’t have mattered if the Easter Bunny brought them shoelaces and a ball of fuzz.  But I’ll take what I can get and what I got was some pretty amazing little kids.

Hope you all had a nice Easter as well. And thanks for reading!

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