Humor · Motherhood · SAHM

Jumping to Conclusions


Do you remember the joys of jumping on your parents sofa during imagination play? Though back then we didn’t call it imagination play, it was just playing. But, do you remember how much fun that was? So freeing! I miss it. I used to liked to imagine I was on Star Search and I had to out-jump and out-sing the little blonde-hair girl in pigtails. I’d get a good bounce going and then fly off the couch and land with a cheerful, sing-songy “TA-DA!”  I loved doing that.

My little brother, Geoffrey, spent hours jumping on the couch while mom wasn’t looking. He wore a sash and a scowl and 2 plastic sais. That was back in the good ol’ days of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What am I saying? It’s still the good ol’ days of TMNT! Can’t wait to see the new movie! But back then, it had a hold on my brother like nothing else. He WAS Raphael. And as he jumped off the couch and imagined slicing Shredder’s face, he’d yell “COWABUNGA!”

My son never really got into The Turtles even though they were around. He did somehow know about ninjas, though. He’d high-kick and upper-cut and sweep-the-leg. Never trained, and it showed, but it didn’t matter. In his mind, he was a ninja. I’d watch him, dressed all in black, fighting bad guys. Sometimes there would be too many to attack at once so he’d sneak behind the loveseat to consider his next move. But every single time it was the same move. He somehow managed to fling his entire tiny body over the loveseat and then bounce, kick, bounce a couple more times and then hurdle towards a pile of pillows and blankets he’d previously set up. As he soared through the air, he’d yell, “HIIIIIIIIII YAAAAAAAA!”

Now, I’m a mean mom. I don’t like the kids jumping on my new sectional. As a result of their previous jumping, I have a nice quarter-sized hole in one of the seats. But they’re sneaky little turds and tend to do it anyways. Today I was writing and when I noticed my little girl hopping along on the forbidden furniture, I let it be. She was so happy. She was laughing and mumbling a play-language to herself that was too cute to stop. I couldn’t figure out what her imaginary play was, though. She’s not the most graceful of girls so there was a lot of flopping about, and falling off the couch.  I heard her mumble a couple times, “that was just practice.” Then she did it. She started at one end of the sectional and took off running to the other. And as she reached the end and shot full force into the air she yelled, “NAKED PEOPLE!’

Yeah…that’s not normal, right?

Maybe she was imaginary-playing out her college years? I don’t know. I don’t want to know. I’m just going back to the no jumping on the couch rule. I’m also gonna bust out some old Star Search episodes from Youtube and make her study them! That will solve everything.

Thanks for stopping by!


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