Humor · kids · Motherhood · parenting

Picturing Perfect

Recently, one of my friends posted the cutest picture of her and her daughters. They were sitting on a log, all dressed in pinks, smiling beautifully and looking too damn perfect. It was something like this…


Isn’t that lovely?

I showed my husband and asked why we couldn’t get a nice picture like that with our kids.

“Because we have boys.”

“Laurie’s not a boy.”

“Yeah, but the boys have brain-washed her into thinking she’s a boy. Sorry.”

He’s right, but I’m determined! So I drug the kids out to that same exact spot. In our different shades of blue I shot a picture that turned out a smidge different from my dear friends.


Just a smidge.

I’m not sure when I’m going to learn that our family is just doomed to bad photos. See, this isn’t really the first time it’s happened. Here is a photo my friend took when her and her husband and daughter went to the zoo.


Whenever I see this, I start humming, “Can You Feel the Love, Tonight?” And then I throw up a little.

We went to the zoo, too. Same exact zoo. Same exact day.


Yeah, we didn’t have some sweet zen moment where we became friends with animals. Except for maybe Tommy who climbed up an elephant. Laurie got attacked by wasps. I got attacked by birds. Jack got eaten by a boa constrictor and Steven…well, Steven just couldn’t figure out why I wanted to leave so early.

Other places we’ve left early…

The Aquarium (Laurie got to miss this little adventure)


And most birthday parties…


Look, I love my family. I just need to figure out how to get us all happy at the same moment, looking in the same direction, with something resembling a decent smile plastered on our faces.

And then it hit me. Of course! The answer had been in front of my face all along. It would take a little creativity and a pinch of Hollywood magic, but I was pretty sure I could pull it off.

So today, I dragged everyone out to the pool. Before Tommy had a chance to announce the fun game he just thought of (“This one is called Storming the Beaches of Normandy!”), I put the t.v. outside, turned on Despicable Me, and hit the timer on the camera.


SUCCESS! Thank you Steve Carell!

And thank you all for reading. Happy Summer!


6 thoughts on “Picturing Perfect

    1. Yay! This is a product of not being able to sleep. I stay up all night and doodle until my eyes feel like they’re gonna fall out! lol! Thanks for commenting!!!

  1. What the perfect pink picture didn’t show was Makenzie (the youngest) wanted nothing to do with the picture process so I had to bribe her with a toy from Walmart & fed both girls a box of fruit by the foots! And yes it was only 930 in the morning and it’s probably not the best thing to feed a child but I wanted happy, cheery kids in a picture so that’s what I did!! Lol 🙂

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