My baby brother got engaged. Yeah, it’s pretty cool. Go ahead and give him a round of applause. It’s especially awesome because he’s marrying up. Like, when we first met her, the whole family was saying, “Man, I can’t believe Geoffrey doesn’t realize she’s dating him as a joke. When he finds out…it’s gonna be so funny!” So, knowing that she really likes him is pretty great. Unless she’s just keeping this joke going, in which case, she’s my new hero.
Anyways, they are both sailors in the Navy, and I don’t get to see them as much as I would like. So I haven’t got to hear the proposal story yet, and that’s a problem…for them. I know when my friends start asking me about it, I can’t just say I don’t know. So, I’ve just come up with my own proposal story. And I’m about 99% sure this is how it went down
B comes home to a dark house with a single candle flickering on the kitchen table. She turns to flip the light switch, when Geoffrey, who’s wearing a a bright blue tweed jacket and matching fuzzy slippers, grabs her hand and puts a finger to her mouth. “Shhhh”, he says, “dance with me.” Suddenly, I Wanna Know What Love Is begins playing softly.
She is speechless as he spins her around the living room a couple times. He then speaks the lyrics of the song into her ear, “This mountain I must climb, feels like the world upon my shoulders.” He dips her, and she falls a little bit because he’s a terrible dancer, and as she regains her balance he kicks off his shoes and they fly across the room, accidentally hitting the dog. B tries to let go of Geoffrey’s hand to tend to the dog, but he won’t let go. He puts her hand on his heart and says, “Do you feel that. You have taught me what love is.” He then reaches around her and hands her a black and gold box. “For you.” They walk over to the couch, and when B opens the box about a 50 doves come flying out, getting feathers and shit all over the place. Oh, actually, it was 49. One didn’t make it home from the store. But once they’ve all flown to different corners of the house, B sees Geoffrey has come down to one knee. He hands her another box. A smaller box. And as she opens it, a single tear falls from his eyes. He says, “B, I want you to be my bae fo-eva. Will you marry me?” and she says, “Alright”. And then a bunch of random people burst out of all the bedrooms singing the chorus of the song.
And then they don’t call me. The end.
Totes romantic, right?
Congratulation you two crazy kids. We love you!