blogging · creative writing · Humor

I is for I Have Issues

  • I’m still really bummed out that McDonald’s stopped making Hot Mustard dipping sauce for their McNuggets.
  • When I eat a Kit Kat bar I break off the individual pieces and then nibble around all the sides.
  • I eat the middle of the Reeces cup first.
  • I draw my F’s backwards. I didn’t know that was weird, but one day a couple I know picked on me about it to no end. But then again, they were assholes so…
A Nod to my favorite movie
A Nod to my favorite movie
  • I always smell cups before I use them. But I don’t smell my mugs before filling them with coffee.
  • Last month I bought myself an electric pencil sharpener. I’m still super-pumped about it.
  • I wrote a song when I was like 11. Somewhere out there is a cassette of me singing, “We’re going ballistic-ic-ic-ic-ic now baby. Going ballistic-ic-ic-ic, yeah yeah.” It’s about 20 minutes long.
  • I’ve been coloring Easter Eggs with my kids for the last 8 years, but this was the first year I actually got the middle hard-boiled. Now to take on dippy-eggs!
  • I’m a little self-conscience over how much of this post has discussed food.
  • I think I’m gonna go get a snack now.

Thanks for stopping by!

 

 

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4 thoughts on “I is for I Have Issues

  1. YES! You totally have to nibble off those raggedy ripped up edges first – get them all smoothed out, THEN nibble off all the chocolate from the edges so you can see the layers all the way around. THEN, if you’re feeling extremely awesome, hoover off the chocolate top and bottom and THEN eat each of the crunchy then creamy layers one at a time. Messy, but oh-so-satisfying when it works out. Issues? No. You just know how to enjoy a Kit Kat!

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