Humor · Marriage · Uncategorized

L is for the way you Look at me…when I do something without telling you and you get annoyed, but there’s really nothing you can say because it’s already done and it’s not like I’m one of the kids and you can punish me I’m your wife so suck it up buttercup and I love You.

I have had the same phone number for the past 17 years. It moved with me to my first apartment and then to my first home. I eventually had to share it with my husband, which was fine. He shared his stuff too.

When friends and family would call that number, they would get a silly answering machine message. I would sing songs depending on the holiday and change the lyrics around to make sense. (The Monster Mash might have been my favorite). And when my son was two, I thought it was a good time to pass  the torch. His sweet little voice repeated what I said.

“Say we’re not home.”

“No home.”

Times have changed though. For instance, Tommy can not only repeat exactly what I say to him, but he tends to never shut up. (I mean that lovingly, I swear!) Also, we no longer have funny messages on our answering machine. We have voicemail, and you’re greeted by a mean man ordering you to leave a message after the beep. But it doesn’t matter anyways, because pretty much the only people that call that number are telemarketers and John Boehner during election season.

“Who was that?”

“Just John Boehner”

“Again!?!?”

Everyone else calls our cell phones. And my cell phone message is a fun one, so it’s really more enjoyable for all.

Another big change, not surprising at all, is the phone bill! I think I paid about $15 17 years ago. Which would make sense. But I think back then I was on that thing about 15 hours a day. Now I pay over $30 for 1 phone call a month! Yes, 1 phone call, and that’s probably to the pizza joint down the street!

So when I was doing our monthly budget, I sat the hubs down and explained to him why we need to get rid of the land-line. And he sorta agreed, but put up a decent argument. There’s great things about having a land-line. It is reliable in case of emergencies. Everyone has the number. The kids have the number memorized. We have the number memorized. But I still couldn’t validate that with the price.

I called the phone company, the same phone company I have used for 17 years. I was already on their lowest tier phone package. The only thing they could offer me was a discount if I switched to their brand-spanking new digital phone…which was STILL more than what I was paying.

“You realize that I’ve made 3 phone calls in 3 months, right? I don’t need all your fancy features. I need to spend less money. Is there a ‘less money’ package?”

There was not.

I sat on it for 3 more months! Why? Because I’m a procrastinator and insanely lazy, I guess. I don’t know. But finally, when we got our last bill and there was yet another raise in the cost (Only like $1.50, but still!) I took action. I did some research and I decided to go with BasicTalk. I picked up the system. I installed it myself. And best of all, that number I’ve had for 17 years? I get to keep it.

And I did it all without saying a word to the hubs.

I don’t think I deceived him or anything. I didn’t want to pay $32 for a phone call every month. He wanted to keep the phone. This way, we both win. But when I tell him about it, he looks at me like, ‘in what treacherous way have you changed my life now, woman?’ He’s so adorable. Like an angry kitten.

I explained that this way will save us $20 a month, so the eyebrows eased up on me a little bit. Steven doesn’t like change (that’s the real key to a life-long marriage!), but this is a good one…I think. We’ll see. I hope so. Cause the only thing worse than the look he’s giving me now, is the one that says, “I told you this was the biggest mistake of our lives!” That look I could live without.

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6 thoughts on “L is for the way you Look at me…when I do something without telling you and you get annoyed, but there’s really nothing you can say because it’s already done and it’s not like I’m one of the kids and you can punish me I’m your wife so suck it up buttercup and I love You.

  1. You always had the best messages on your land line. The best one was the day after y2k I laughed till I almost peed my pants….wish you would do that again happened more often then your yearly Christmas card

  2. Same number, Rachel, so Steven really still gets what he argued fro, it seems to me. Win-win. Smart wife. As long as there’s no hidden awful flaws in BasicTalk. You researched the hell out of it first, though, I take it. We still have our land line. Maybe the last one in America now that you sold out! It’s bundled with the cable and Internet package … and I like the number we’ve had since we moved in 11 years ago … and I hate change … Must sound familiar to you, huh?

    1. Yep, you’re such a man! 😉 I didn’t sell out! I still have a land line, I just no longer pay it through AT&T. So blrrrrph! And the only complaint I really heard about BasicTalk is some people said it’s hard to cancel. So if I ever cancel, I’ll let you know.

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