Humor · parenting · SAHM

A Side of Paranoia


I won’t look out the window. He’s only a minute late. I’m not going to look out the window. Everything is fine. It’s only been 1 minute. 60 teeny tiny seconds. Don’t look out the window.

Okay, 2 minutes. He’s 2 minutes late. 2 minutes is not a long time, but just in case…

nope. No bus. And there’s usually a car sitting there waiting to pick up one of the kids, but the car isn’t there. Did the bus already go by? No. I didn’t hear the bus. It’s just running late.

Why the hell did that car drive by so fast? Was he in the back of that car? While I’m sitting here looking out the bedroom window, was he already around front being kidnapped by some creep? Or maybe he’s out front right now. Did I unlock the door for him…

Door’s unlocked. He’ll probably be walking in any second now…

I think this tightening in my chest is a sign. Something has happened to him. I knew something like this would happen. Life has been too good lately, of course something bad is bound to happen.  Just please not this! WHERE IS HE?!

The bus could just be running late. Should I call the school? Certainly they would know if one of their buses was running behind. Or maybe there was an accident? Maybe  the bus driver was drunk and took off for the highway and crashed into a semi tuck  and then, car after car after car crashed into them, and my baby flew out the window and is now laying in a ditch unconscious and they’ll never find him or if they do it will be too late? I should call the school.

Get it together. You haven’t heard the bus yet. Why not just walk down to the bus stop and wait? And if there’s other parents there they can confirm the bus is just running late. And if there’s no parents there…okay take your cell phone in case you need to call the school.

That’s it! I’m going to hunt down my baby, and God help anyone who tries to stop me!

“Hey Mom!”

Thank you, Jesus! Hold back tears and stay calm.

“Hey buddy. Running a little late today?”

“Nah. Mrs. Peltier asked me how my day was so I was telling her about my speech.”

He’s just been out back this entire time? But I didn’t hear the bus!

“Oh. Well. I’m glad you’re home.”

Don’t hug him tightly against your chest like a psycho. Just mess up his hair a little.

“Can I go outside?”

NO! You’re never leaving my sight again my little huggy buggy boo-boo bear!

“Sure, just stay where I can see you.”

Where is that boy?

  • I recently read that the world is actually a much safer place now than it was 10 or 20 years ago. However, people are more afraid now than ever because we are constantly seeing and reading about horrible things happening in this world. I rolled my eyes when I read it, but now I realize the struggle is real, y’all. It’s real.



15 thoughts on “A Side of Paranoia

  1. It is safer because of all the technology and ALERTS that go out on phones. Amber Alerts. The social media with news, etc. Everything is faster, more knowledge and programs about safety in school.

    (It took other families tragedy for these to come about like ADAM and AMBER)

    Of course, then there are parents like me, we drive to school and pick up- never letting them walk. I fear the drivers and cell phones and the flying in and out of the grocery store parking lot. I know 3 people who have been hit on their bicycles. 1 died (3rd grader). 1 had to be in the hospital a few days and broke his hip, had to be in wheelchair for awhile (6th grader) The other 1 night stay for observation was in high school. So using caution is fine. It’s okay to worry about our kids. The world is safer when it comes to stranger danger, but more dangerous with the cell phones and driver distractions.

    1. That’s horrible to hear about those kids. It is scary with all this technology. I remember when I was in high school, I would get really close to cars when I crossed the street in parking lots (gee, I was so cool) and my mom of course would yell at me. I’d say, “What? They have eyes. They’ll see me.” No way that’d happen now because the eyes seem to be on anything BUT the road. Now I make a point to teach my kids to look at the driver’s face. Don’t cross till you see that drivers face and he’s acknowledged he sees you. So far, they get it. One of those things I hope sticks. Thanks for commenting, Sandi!

  2. Oh I know all about this!
    Seriously. It’s no fun.
    We’ve had trouble with the bus lately, and sometimes we get these automated calls that say the bus will be 20-25 minutes late. Try 50! Awful!

      1. I’m in Indianapolis, and I’m literally less than a mile from their school.
        Their bus driver quit, so in the meantime, another bus finishes the first route and then comes to collect their second route (my kids.) They do like the extra recess.
        I do not.

  3. Thank God he was just telling the neighbor about his day, Rachel. Worry happens, my friend.

    Safer than 10 or 20 years ago? The media’s fault for too much nasty news coverage? Our fault for seeing it and reading it? Not buying that.

    1. That’s true, Mark. I blame the media as well. Is it so hard to find some nice human-interaction stories to tell? Perhaps if we heard more of those, people would want to reach out more and show more kindness. The news is one of those shows my husband and I watch after the kids go to bed. When I watch it while they’re up I get asked fun questions like, “what’s a rapist?” “what’s crack” “what did he to do his dog!?” Yeah, I’ll pass!

      1. Yeah, Rachel. I was part of the mainstream media for 34 years, from the day I graduated from college, and tried hard to tell good stories along with the hard news. Then I got laid off. I don’t think there was a correlation …

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s