Today, His Majesty set out on a quest
to prove that he was Mommy’s favorite and best.
Her best little dancer, and her best silly boy
The best one that sings and brings her great joy.
But Mommy could only be impressed by one thing
and it had nothing to do with the way he could sing.
Mommy pulled out some armor and said with a smile
“It’s time to wear undies. Try them on for a while.”
So he dressed in the man-panties, and it wasn’t so bad.
He looked like his big brother, and he looked like his dad.
Then Mommy said, “Now, for task number two
I want you to sit on this throne, please, will you?”
And His Majesty considered this honorable seat,
he inspected the throne and he thought it was neat.
And then Mommy added, “This is a potty for you.
This is where you’ll deposit your pee-pees and poo.”
His majesty contemplated then looked his mommy in the eye,
he said, “Yeah, that’s not happenin’, lady.”
Then he peed all over the whole damn kingdom.