This weekend was our annual Pack Pinewood Derby. For those who aren’t hip to the Cub Scout jive, the Pinewood Derby is when little boys carve a car out of a block of wood (with the help of a kit. We’re not barbarians!) and then race it among their peers. The winner is the scout with the fastest time (and coincidentally the one with the most help from Dad). He gets a huge trophy and the chance to participate at District. It’s all fun and games for the boys and everyone has a great time, usually.
But none of that really mattered this year because the big race was the race after race.
After the scouts and after the siblings, when most everyone had gone home for some lunch, we held a deep dark underground (because we were in the basement), adult race.
This was not your average race. This one was for bragging rights, which we all know is far more valuable than a silly trophy. This one can also determine the fate of so many lives. For instance, would the hard-working Cub Master win? Or would his adorable Cub Master wife, who always helps him out with all the planning and writing emails and reminders on who to call about what and when, would she win?
You could cut the marital intensity in the room with a BSA approved Swiss Army Knife.
In several heats, The Exhausted Mommy breezed past the competition to land that first place spot. The other mother’s in the room roared for all women kind! But it was not going to be an easy win. After Burn shot past her in a few races, and out of no where the rookie Donatello even shot past him. In a desperate attempt to win back her street cred, The Exhausted Mommy yelled to her husband after his 3rd win, “That’s it! I’m not making dinner this week!” But After Burn shrugged it off, “I’m so fast, I’ll just go pick something up.”
The room fell silent as the totals were tallied. Some of the racers set back with their hands over their faces, realizing they had been beaten by a girl. Others watched the judge with a twitching eye. But, The Exhausted Mommy, After Burn, and Donatello sat back in their chairs and smiled, each knowing they were victorious.
Finally, he spoke.
“In 3rd place, The Exhausted Mommy.”
Exhausted Mommy laughed and shrugged, “We’ll get’em next year…and I’m still not making supper!”
“In 2nd place”, he continued, “Donatello.”
Everyone in the room gasped. Really? That could only mean…
“And in 1st place, winning by 3 thousandths of a second, After Burn!”
The room erupted with cheers! Camera’s flashed! Reporters pushed their microphones in the Cub Master’s face. “Does it feel like all your hard work has finally paid off now that you’re the winner of the Pinewood Derby Adult Race?”
He could only smile, as the rest of the dad’s pulled him up onto their shoulders and carried him around the room. Donatello was nowhere to be seen and The Exhausted Mommy was later caught at Tim Hortons buying an extra-large French Vanilla Cappuccino.
It was a fun race all around, but I hope After Burn doesn’t get too cozy in that number one spot. We still have one more year of Derbies, and 2017 will be the year of The Mommy!