Here’s just a few reminders…suggestions really…of little things to keep in mind while I’m away this weekend.
- Feed and water the dog
- Feed and water the children
- Make sure the dog doesn’t hump the children
- Make sure the children don’t kill each other.
- Resist the urge to find me a sister-wife when the dog starts humping our bruised and bloodied children.
- On second thought, a sister-wife doesn’t sound too bad. Go ahead and take care of that, will ya?
- Make sure my new sister-wife has the house clean when I get home Sunday.
- Oh, and no sex.
- I mean it, Steven. When I get home, that sister-wife better be 90-years-old with a mustache on her lip and a Bible on her lap!
- 10. You know what, never mind. I’ll take care of the sister-wife before my next weekender. You just keep the house and family as I left them!
There’s leftovers in the fridge and money on the dresser if you want to treat the kids to milkshakes one night.
Your ONLY wife (if you know what’s good for ya!),